Chat Log: Featuring NLP Master Trainer Kathleen La Valle
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IRC Chat Log, December 13, 1998
The entire content of this individual chat is © Kathleen La Valle. All rights reserved DHE, Design Human Engineering, NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming are ™ Richard Bandler.
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| Jonathan | Kathleen, thank you very much for agreeing to do a chat with me & the folks here! Welcome! Kathleen has joined us under the topic of "EVERY WHICH WAY AND LOOSE!" Take it away, Kathleen!
| Kathleen | Hello Jonathan and guests, I am delighted to be here. Tonight will be a night of fun and adventure!
| Jonathan, Dluzi, venus, Maxin | (Lots of applause!)
| Jonathan | Welcome again. You mentioned, Kathleen... that you wanted to talk about how to have much more fun with NLP™!!!
| Kathleen | I get many questions about people who take NLP™ courses, and they complain that they can't practice NLP™ because they don't have time, or others to do it with. This is when I wonder if they really understand the tool, or toy, they have. NLP™ is not something that you take off the shelf like some dusty old book once in a while to use... there is an opportunity every second to practice and to use (& play with) it! It is a wondrous thing, this NLP™ stuff! Agree, Jonathan?
| Jonathan | Of course!
| Maxin | I'm nodding!
| Kathleen | Well, I wonder if some of you have ever said this. And I would like to explore how many ways we can use it and have fun!
| Jonathan | Is there any limit?
| Kathleen | Noooooo! Limit? What is that?
| Jonathan | Awww, come on, don't we need a limit to understand how far we can go?
| Kathleen | I think I have forgotten that word! Must be the amnesia pattern. NLP™ can be so much more for you, too!
| Jonathan | At seminars, many people have pointed out how more smoothly you seem to understand how to make NLP™ tools work more effectively for each person.
| Kathleen | Oh, come now, flattery will get you everywhere!
| Jonathan | And I know I also get a few people now & again who say "I took the NLP Prac course (with other trainers) about 4 years ago, and I never really used it." Inside, I thought, 'How could that happen?' when we know how easy some of these things are to do!
| Kathleen | That is exactly what I am saying. Sometimes this is due to how it is taught. If it is taught purely from the intellectual approach. Yuck!
| Jonathan | Can you give me an example of how someone might be taught something, maybe with good intentions, but somehow someone doesn't quite get it, or tries it but it doesn't quite work yet?
| Kathleen | Yes. I will keep names out of this, though. I got an email from someone who was stuck with a belief change technique. They were following step by step from the book exactly, and not getting anywhere. They were trying to install a new belief and using the submodalities of a current belief that was strong, so they were using it as they were taught...
| Jonathan | (Sounds like a good start on their part, anyway... I think most people approach NLP from having read the books)
| Kathleen | They had the belief that "there is a chair" or that "chairs exist." Well it was a strong belief; you could not talk them out of it! But just how important is that to them? What feelings are attached to it? Hmmmm.. a chair... Whoopeee!!! So the new belief had the "oh boy, a chair" level of feelings attached. Not much! So I asked them what belief did they have that was strong, powerful and had good juicy feelings attached?
| Jonathan | Ahhhh, cool distinction!
| Kathleen | Like, "do you like playing with your children, or watching them be born?" And they lit up!
| Jonathan | But wait a sec., what's the difference regarding the exercise? They're both STRONG beliefs, Kathleen.
| Kathleen | The feelings were stronger and juicy! So when they used that belief, the new belief had powerful and juicy feelings.. now doesn't it already? Heheheh! Just a little difference, still by the book.
| Jonathan | The books don't cover these distinctions very often... Hmmmmm.... :)
| Kathleen | But it is looking at the process of how it works, that is the job of the trainer! Books are maps, you know, not as exciting as the journey through the territory!
| Jonathan | OK, let's see if this actually works for someone!
| Kathleen | What would you like to do?
| Jonathan | Is there someone here who knows the book approach to a belief change with submodalities, and has chosen "the sun will come up tomorrow" or some such bland but strong belief? Someone who wants to try out this distinction?
| Maxin | Yes
| Kathleen | Hello Maxin! Take a belief that is strong, true and gets you excited! Feeling real goooood! See the difference, feel the difference, hear the difference, etc. etc.
| Maxin | That's cool!
| Kathleen | How is it different?
| Maxin | It's not dull! The fact that 'the sun will come up tomorrow' -- so?
| Kathleen | That is right! Now imagine that everything you thought was dull about practicing NLP™ or anything else that was... and run those feelings through this new way! Way good! Hmmmm...
| Maxin | Sounds like fun!
| Jonathan | (I'm running some belief changes too in the background :) My face is getting flushed :)
| Kathleen | This is what making NLP™ or anything more fun! Become an adventurer! We will all be the Indiana Jones of NLP™ by the end of the night! Find ways to practice NLP™ in line at the bank, or at the grocery store, or walking down the street. Elevators are great! You have a captured audience! hehehe
| Jonathan | Trance Induction... 12.... 11.... 10....
| Kathleen | 9 8 7.. oh well, another day in paradise! By the way, the complaint that this fellow had was that he could not get a picture of the new belief. And that was because the feelings were not strong enough! When he did it the new way, the pictures just popped in, big & bright!
| PureNLP | Basically what Kathleen's saying for you linguistics folks out there is that, some people are taught in a "frames" system (techniques) and not in a knowledge-structure system, where it is recognized that, not only are the learners' databases being filled with knowledge, but that they also have a database of knowledge already in place. If more people would teach about composition, then more people would learn to use NLP™ every moment of each and every day! Composition is where the meaning of the whole is a systematic function of the meaning of the parts.
| Jonathan | Who has an example.... of the use of an NLP technique.... that has not worked well for them... in the past? Kathleen's a wizard at helping people to get it all working to the point where you're grinning when its done :)
| Maxin | Allergies?
| Kathleen | Ahhhhhh-chooooo! Sorry.
| Maxin | No problem.
| Kathleen | I'm allergic to allergies! Well look at it this way. What is an allergy?
| Maxin | A reaction.
| Kathleen | It is the body's response to a foreign subsance. We breath in pollen and our body goes: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So we call out the troops, but too much, and sometimes we over react. Hmmmm what NLP technique is used when someone over reacts to a stimulus, that someone else might seem to be fine with?
| Jonathan | Phobia... Fix...
| finter | They have a phobia of pollen!
| tranzpupy | Oh, yeah!
| Kathleen | Yeah! How can someone else breath pollen or walk up to a cat, and be fine? Now, I agree sometimes there are intolerances, but those are not allergies. Dairy {for example} -- that is when enzymes are missing. So try the phobia fix! Or, use submodality distinctions like collapsing anchors.
| Maxin | I'm talking alergies to cats, and especially horses.
| Kathleen | Ok, so do it. Do the phobia fix or collapsing anchors or work with submodalities! They work!
| Maxin | Ok, I'll do that!
| Kathleen | I have helped many with that. Someday, John will tell you how he cured someone of an allergy conversationally in 10 seconds!
| tranzpupy | coool!
| Kathleen | They did not know it, until they were exposed to the substance, did not react, then called John laughing and said "did you do something when I was at your house?"
| tranzpupy | oh, great!!
| finter | I suffer really badly from hayfever in the Summer months.
| Jonathan | Finter, what would happen if you changed your belief about what season it actually is when Summer comes around? :)
| Kathleen | Any one else have another challenge?
| finter | I've got one for you, Kathleen! I'm extremely partial to alcohol.
| PureNLP | You, too?
| finter | I want to be able to take it or leave it
| PureNLP | Hmm!
| finter | At the moment I seem to be stuck. I can take or leave chocolate for instance.
| Jonathan | RUBBING alcohol!!! OOOooh, yeah!
| Kathleen | I don't want to give the impression that we are doing counseling over this chat. because I would want to explore some areas and motivations
| finter | Sure - I understand
| Jonathan | I agree, along with a quick comment: This is not therapy, or any kind of replacement for it. This is about learning how to do things better on our OWN. Obviously, if anyone views this chat as other than EDUCATION, please be on your way... :)
| Kathleen | I will comment on this in one second. What I am looking for is where people say I can't find ways to practice NLP™ in their everyday life. Now, Finter, if you do have something that you can control, and something that you can't, then there must be something very different in the decision strategies. So look at the submodality comparison, and look for the ones that drives the desire and lessen it. Look for the one that allows you to say no about chocolate and strengthen that one in the alchohol. Understand? Like a compulsion blow-out, for those who have had it. Then start filling yourself with good feelings, and taking good care of yourself!
| finter | Ahh. I read about the compulsion blow out. Thanks!
| Kathleen | Now, any more challenges in practicing NLP™? Let's take a mundane task, and see how we can make it fun, and chock full of NLP™!
| Jonathan | Yes, I have a good one... that a friend brought up a while back: He had paperwork piled up 1 foot high on his desk :) And he needed to get through it, and wanted to be able to do it easily & naturally :)
| Kathleen | Ok
| Jonathan | He knew quite a bit of NLP™ at that point, through a variety of sources. So he had a lot of tools at his disposal. But somehow or other, none of the ones he tried... worked for him up until then!
| Kathleen | Well the first approach is to start with a good feeling! Not the one that says "Ohhhh, gotta...!" Start with how good it will feel getting it done fast and easy. Not "when it is done then you would walk away and feel it was done and it would still be there." So the distinction is important between feeling good about the process, or that it is already done! Feel good about the process, then realize what the task is attached to, & why you are doing it. Because cleeaning piles of papers is not exactly WhooooHooo! But what is the value of the job? What will it do for you to have the job done? More time to play cause you will find things easier! Or you can use your DHE™ speed time machine, and go through the job in fast time, like the flash!
| Kathleen | Well, this brings me to another email I received! Someone asked the definition of NLP™. And someone answered that it is about having choices in life. Making a choice about everything, from how you wake up in the morning, to whether you live or die. It was about a man who lived his life like this every moment. He made choices about feeling good, when others were trying to make him feel bad, when things went wrong. He decided to learn from them, instead of being defeated. One day he was shot in his store and they did not expect him to live, and he said to the nurses as they asked him about allergies. He said "yes, one: bullets!" They were amazed he chose humor at that moment! He also said he chose to live, so operate on him as an alive person, not a dead one. And he lived!
| tranzpupy | that was cool, Kathleen.
| Kathleen | Oh well. It is about choice. That is what I am thinking about when I use NLP™. How can I change things with NLP™, & do it differently each time?
| Jonathan | How do you feel about that definition? Is that a good all-encompassing definition?
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