
Asking Those Bad Dreams Away... Positive thinking NLP Technique - NLP Article
Recently my 5-year-old daughter reported having had a few bad dreams. This further led to some less-than-desirable behavior around bedtime before she went to bed, and then, some resistance to drifting down into a comfortable sleep at a good time.
So I created a ritual and offered her some tricks to making sure most if not all of her dreams would be good ones. She jumped at the opportunity and wanted to know the tricks. So I told her, it was easy -- it was just a few questions that she could ask and not answer. I used a technique I learned from one of my own trainers, Rex Steven Sikes -- simply put -- just asking better questions.
Some of you may have learned about how we direct our attention with our questions from Tony Robbins, but this article takes it further with "complex syntax". Combine 'asking better questions' with 'complex syntax,' (designed to confuse the conscious mind and engage the UNconscious mind) and we get great results.
So now my daughter & I have a ritual every evening whereby I come in at bedtime and we ask some good questions.
Of course, the deal requires her to "practice keeping her eyes closed for as long as she can" while we run through some questions. I say the questions and she repeats them out loud, though softly. And then between some of the questions I recommend she take a long... slow... deep breaths... (which, increasingly, lead to yawns!)
Here are a few of the questions I use, with lots of variation:
- I wonder how easily I'm going to fall asleep tonight?
- Will I have several amazing dreams, or only 3-4 good dreams?
- I'm not sure just how wonderful my dreams are going to be tonight, but won't it be fun to discover comfort inside of sleep?
- How much will my body grow and heal naturally while I rest tonight?
- Where in my body do I feel the most relaxed?
- How much will I enjoy my deep and comfortable sleep?
- Will it take me 4 minutes to drift into dreamland, or 6 or 7?
After we run through a few of these, if I pause for a minute or two and just recommend she keep breathing deeply, she's usually asleep without further questioning.
We've been doing this for a couple of weeks now. I recently asked her if she was still getting bad dreams, and she answered, "no, I get only good dreams now. So we have to keep doing the good questions!"
I must say, I haven't yet solved EVERY challenge I face as a parent, but with NLP I certainly feel more empowered than I would have been 10 years ago to handle what comes up, evaluate situations as impartially as possible, and, design creative solutions for them.
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- Donna McGeorgeSpeaker, Facilitator, People with PEP,Hired Coaching : Personal Coaching
On the 2 occasions that you have coached me, I have experienced what I assumed to be metaphor sessions. I'm not totally conscious of the process or content of the sessions, yet the results I have had from both sessions are as follows: Session 1 - desired outcome - "get some focus and direction for moving forward given that I'd achieved a lot of what I set out to. What's next?". Whatever you did, my business increased by over 30% in revenues following the session. My focus changed, and I implemented the "Donna the Diva" project, which has resulted in my getting my mojo back, and being way more confident in my skin and clear about what I'm good at. This has also resulted in my "sacking" 2 clients that didn't fit my vision for myself, and for PEP. Again, I'm not sure that I'm consciously aware of what I was doing differently - all I know is that a shift happened, and the result was useful (to say the least). Session 2 - desired outcome - "I'm earning more money than I ever had, and I am swimming in debt - help?! ". Again, I know we talked about a bunch of strategies and I'm clear they also were metaphors. I think our session was about 8 weeks ago? Well, since then - I have cleared all my creditors, and have over $25K in a personal bank account (something that has NEVER happened before). Steve and I are currently shopping for property, and I'm no longer afraid to answer the phone for fear of speaking to a creditor. The physical manifestation of this is that I used to have a folder that was nearly 1.5 inches thick full of bills and accounts. It is currently about an eighth of an inch thick - and these are all less than 30 days. So - that's a pretty literal description of my results of working with you, and I am most grateful to you, and look forward to further coaching. I am happy for you to use any of the above. None of it is a secret - I tell anyone who cares to listen about the results I get following your sessions.
http://www.peoplewithpep.com.au/2007 - Andrew JoyPrincipal French Horn, Cologne Radio Orchestra, Cologne, GermanyBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
Your CDs arrived safe and sound. I've listened to the first two and worked on the exercises. I'm a 55 year young, professional principal french horn player and have been working in a top German symphony orchestra for the past 30 years. I listened to the bonus telephone interview today. I am blown away. The results, applying your voice exercises to my playing (and to my students) are phenomenal. Resonance plays a huge role in performing on a brass instrument and very few poeple understand much about it. I've picked up useful and practical information, from singers and voice coaches, that I've been able to adapt to brass playing. Explaining resonance is now easy using your nose, mouth, throat etc, approach. The killer though, is using double resonance. I have free at present and don't have to perform in the orchestra (and the hall) until the beginning of Febuary. However, I am itching to hear how my changed sound is in our hall. It has to be amazing. Your material has added wonderfully valuable understandings to my comprehension of what constitutes excellent quality brass player and has beautifully simplified my means of effectively communicating it to my students. There has been a lot of belly laughter, stunned ears and broad smiles in my teaching studio this week. I'm teaching a course to amateur wind and brass players next year and am looking forward to applying your teachings to this particular situation for the benefit of the people attending. Thanks a million. This is one of the few times in my life where I've been gladly reeling and with a huge smile on my face.
http://www.andrewjoy.com2007 - James TsakalosNLP Trainer, Developing Magic, Melbourne, AustraliaAttended Course :
K.E. is the most elegant thing I've come across for explicitly modeling belief and decision systems. I recently included some basic K.E. in an NLP master prac training in Melbourne, and all the participants found it to be immeasurably valuable for explicit modeling (among other things). Based on the group's response to K.E. and the speed with which they were able to extract key belief and decision systems using this approach, I have resolved to make it a core part of my master practitioner curriculum from now on. Many thumbs up from me; Jonathan's K.E. material is just plain great. I can't comment on the home study course, but if you get a chance to attend a live K.E. training then I highly recommend checking it out.
http://nlpmelbourne.com.au/2004 - Rosie O'HaraNLP Trainer, NLP Highland, Edinburgh, ScotlanAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
I thoroughly enjoyed Jonathan's Linguistic Wizardry in November 2006 in Glasgow, Jonathan's humour and at times subtle directness is charming and enables great learning. I experienced these 3 days and his evening sessions both as a participant and sometimes from a trainer's perspective. The courses gave me more insight into myself (which NLP always does!), as well as more info, and exciting and useful NLP to bring to my own trainees, trainers and clients, as well as my own life. Jonathan's voice and careful testing of the waters in respect of humour are also delightful. And I met some great people. He's really worth the money, go for it, enjoy it and learn.
http://www.nlphighland.co.uk2006 - Jimmy McIntyreNewcastle, UKBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
I am delighted to say, that since I recieved the irresistible voice CD-set, listened to and utilized the techniques suggested, I've noticed tremendous results. I am a student, but I work part time as a salesman (over the telephone) as well, and almost immediately noticed stronger response potential from customers, and seemingly more attention being paid to what I have to say by friends and family. Although I was aware of embedded commands through my knowledge of hypnotic language patterns, I had no idea how to utilize them. That was, until I received the CD-set. Now I use them Frequently and notice outstanding results. Anyone who wants to improve their voice quality and gain other peoples attention, I would certainly buy the Irresistible Voice CD-set. Thank you Jonathon, I hope to see you in the future.
2002 - Aaron SpurlingAttorney, Indianapolis, INAttended Course : “Irresistible Voice”seminar
The training was fantastic. The focus of the seminar is, of course, on improving the quality of one's voice. Jonathan kicked off the process by spending some time explaining to the group the basic concepts of how the human vocal mechanism works and what are the components that make up a pleasing voice. We then engaged in an extremely effective session in which Jonathan gave personal attention to each of the attendees to identify their unique strengths and weaknesses. I was frankly amazed at the ease, rapidity, and precision with which Jonathan was able to zero in on each person's challenges and potentials. In my own case, he was able to identify three specific areas on which I needed to focus in order to gain the most improvement. To be blunt, he was absolutely right on all three. We then spent time practicing various drills aimed at acquiring and/or strengthening various vocal skills. The drills themselves were generally quite fun and productive. During the drills on all three days, Jonathan would circulate among the various breakout groups and provide individualized feedback. His style of providing the feedback was invariably frank, yet always respectful and sensitive to the participants' feelings. At the end of the three days, my own three problem areas were, I believe, far less problematic thanks to Jonathan's expert guidance. The bottom line: If improving your vocal quality is something that interests you, I would unreservedly recommend Jonathan's seminar.
2007 - Howard WolfMiami, FLAttended Course : Persuasion Summit
PTPS was absolutely the best training in persuasion I've ever experienced. Chris' skills in NLP and persuasion are a compilation of the best of Richard Bandler, Kenrick Cleveland, & Michael Hall, all combined. Chris has evolved these techniques, enhanced them, and repackaged persuasion for the new millenium. Chris has tested his techniques thousands of times through the thousands of telemarketers he's managed over the years. This seminar will go down in the annuls of NLP history.
2001 - Matthew NewnhamChange Management Consultant, Edinburgh, UKAttended Course :
From my perspective, context and meaning are, if not everything, a very big slice of the cake. Jonathan Altfeld's 'Knowledge Engineering' has provided me with the tools and understanding to create contextual maps of any problem, with cause, effect AND meaning. This approach is very powerful, and allowed me to create breakthrough strategies immediately, with clarity and certainty of purpose. Beyond this, Jonathan is exceptionally wise and articulate about NLP and how to use it to effect meaningful, lasting change. He is also very approachable and generous, and a pleasure to work with.
1997 - Erol ThompsonLondon, UKAttended Course : Linguistic Wizardry
As someone relatively new to the subject of NLP I greatly appreciated the mix and range of experience available to me on the linguistic wizardry seminar. Knowledge sharing wasn't just encouraged by Jonathon, but expected as a pre-requisite to getting the most out of the course. As a result this added to the whole seminar experience from day one. Perhaps of greatest benefit to me was the way that Jonathon ensured that we learned as much during lunch breaks and evening conversations as we had learned during the day. By joining us Jonathon showed how the material could be usefully integrated in the real world - achieving shop discounts ethically, was another great bonus. During the course, the practical sessions and brain gym exercises were highly enjoyable - I've already used one or two as handy exercises to occupy the attention of boisterous nephews and nieces. It seems NLP really is 'child's play'. In general, I would like to have played around with more examples of 'state-chaining' through story telling. The Village Council sessions allowed me to see for myself how I'd benefited from the course. Personal benefits for me since the course have been in my professional and social interactions - for instance I now find it easier to model the behaviours of colleagues who have enviable influencing styles; I now see interactions as an opportunity to share stories in a more exciting way; and the quality of my presentations (and joke telling) have improved. For this I believe Jonathon should take some credit.
2006 - Nick KempLeeds UKBought Video : “Building Hypnotic Rapport”
A great introduction to the many facets of building rapport. Jonathan is extremely fluid in his presentation of this subject perfectly pacing the assembled delegates with his relaxed and fun approach to the material. His explanations of rhythm, mismatching, non verbal communication and frames of learning are excellent and its clear from watching that Jonathan has genuine enthusiasm in presenting seminars and is fully aware of how each of the delegates is responding both consciously and unconsciously as well as the dynamics of the group as a whole. As someone who avidly collects all kinds of NLP and hypnosis materials, (in CD, video and DVD formats), what I really liked about this DVD set is that Jonathan breaks the subject down into logical sections, which makes it extremely engaging and memorable for the viewer. His use of metaphors demonstrates someone who is in my opinion a natural presenter and I consider this DVD set invaluable and great value for money for anyone training in NLP, hypnosis or simply interested in improving their communication skills! In fact, I am sufficiently impressed by the quality of this set that I am going to seek out the other DVDs in Jonathan's "Skill-Builders Series".
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