
Accepting Feedback From Others Gracefully - NLP Article
This email was in response to someone who was describing their having had a negative emotional reaction to receiving some criticism.
All information like this is feedback! We can learn from all feedback, "good" or "bad," so from the perspective of learning useful information, there is NO good or bad criticism, just, certain quantities of varying feedback. Which is all good!
So when we hear things like the above, the first response could be, "Yeaaaaahhhh, Feeeeedbaaaack!" and get hungry for it! Listen with intent! Step outside yourself while you're hearing it and be the observer. Be detached but involved! Leave the emotions out and be genuinely interested as a student-of-life...
Now, if you only hear a certain piece of criticism once from someone, and no one else seems to agree (don't go asking everyone, just pay attention to the responses other people offer consciously and unconsciously), ignore them! Yet, if its a pattern, then it becomes something you can take advantage of, and decide if your behavior could use a few adjustments.
You already know you can make that happen, don't you? :)
Feedback!
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- What are the Four Stages of Learning?
- Tim O'KeefeWeb Developer & SEO Strategist, Spider Juice Technologies, Los Angeles, CAAttended Course :
Jonathan, your K.E. Workshop is superb. I got 100% more than I ever expected. I find you engaging and a tremendous model. Your obvious respect for your attendees is admirable. What struck me the most is how fluid the 3 days were. By the 3rd day, everything easily and naturally shifts into understanding. After 1 week, I can tell you I have shifted. The models in my own life (that we worked on in exercises) have been shifting. I have come to some realizations that will be a major change in my business, ultimately allowing me to more fully enjoy my business for the reasons I started it. Thank you!
http://www.spiderjuicetechnologies.com2004 - Arlene HoffmanMiami, FLAttended Course : NLP Practitioner Training
Take a remarkable journey with Jonathan Altfeld to a new awakening, a new beginning, and a Bigger and Better You. The tools and techniques of the NLP™ Prac Training will elevate you higher than you ever thought you would soar. Learn, experience, grow rich in love, language, and personal success.
1998 - Richard StokesLondon, UKAttended Course : “Irresistible Voice”seminar
I attended Jonathan Altfeld's Irresistible Voice workshop about a year ago. I was extremely impressed at the time, but didn't want to post a review until I'd had a chance to experience the difference that it made in practice. [...] The starting point of the transformation was the use of various pieces of electronic amplification equipment. What this does is allow you to hear yourself as others hear you, in real time. ... Using the PA equipment is the first step to revealing our true voice. The result for me was a revelation - I have a good voice, but I'd just never heard it before. The workshop was interspersed with the opportunity to try out specific drills, a bit like circuit training, in groups of 2 or 3 people. Speaking to a rhythmic click track, speaking lying on the floor with books balanced on the belly, and a laptop with a speech analyser. All ways of generating feedback based on external indications, which we could then experiment with. For me, this was the magic of the workshop, the bringing to the surface of what was previously been hidden, where it could be experimented with. Another great feature of the workshop was the regular coaching by Jonathan, in front of the group. I wanted to be able to project my voice without shouting, so as to reach someone sitting 20 rows back. Jonathan made small adjustments to the way I held my head, a tilt of maybe half an inch or so, and the effect was noticeable and immediate. All of Jonathan's coaching and interventions were directed to specific outcomes that each person wanted. Shortly afterwards, I joined a public speaking club in order to be able to put into practice what I'd learned, speaking to groups of 30-40 people. The feedback I got right from the start was consistently that I have a great speaking voice, and that it was clear that I was an experienced speaker. I'd highly recommend this course.
2007 - Chris ArellanoNorth CarolinaAttended Course : NLP Practitioner Training
Through this experience, I've gathered many things that I did not have before. I am able to see things, and see them from new perspectives. I have learned and am still learning how to improve both myself as well as those with whom I come in contact. Things I have just described are somewhat vague in description yet very profound to me. I owe much of this trance-formation to Jon for providing the tools and facilitating the use of these new tools in a positive direction. Thank you.
1998 - Alex AkselrodBought Audio : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
As a certified hypnotherapist, I can tell you that I will use these techniques in all of my future hypnosis work, both with clients & on tape, as well as any inductions I record for free distribution. Jonathan demonstrated these techniques as he taught them, & each time, I had a high level of response to them. He is a very dynamic speaker, & forced me to really pay attention & understand the communication at all levels.
2001 - Eric JohnsonMortgage Broker and Financial Coach, Bradenton, FLBought Audio : Metaphor Machine CDs
I've always known, as most all of you here have, that the most influential and powerful communicators relay messages on deep levels and that the power of metaphor is of paramount importance. Jonathan's treatment of the subject on the Metaphor Machine CD-set is really quite impressive. The distinctions he makes between 'isomorphic' and 'homomorphic' metaphors is really critical to development of skills in this area. Of course the 'homomorphic' metaphor structure is the one for the serious student, and Jonathan does a tremendous job of 'unpacking,' as he likes to say, the structure of an effective metaphor and laying out the formula for easy re-creation. In sum, this set is one that provides extreme traction and momentum in developing this critical skill set.
2008 - Simon ApplebaumHarmonix Systems, Southampton, UKAttended Course : Finding Your Irresistible Voice
I learned loads and increased my confidence in my own voice massively. The course kicked off with an opportunity for everyone to speak to the group and we got immediate feedback on our vocal strengths and areas for improvement. The feedback was insightful and effective - even at this very early stage of the course, we were all achieving quite serious improvements. A key aspect of Jonathan's approach is the use of real-time feedback and he uses several tools to do this. The theory is that normally you don't actually hear your own voice quite as other people do - the sound changes as it travels through the bones and tissues of your own head! By using feedback, you hear a more accurate version of your own voice, as other people hear it, and you can make adjustments on the fly in response to it. This worked for me. Although I'd previously done voice work, this was the first time I'd used this approach. I found I could focus on the actual sound of my voice, as I spoke. I sounded better which increased my confidence, helping me slow down my usual rush to get finished. Overall I found the course great fun, I learnt loads and the time passed in a flash. I particularly appreciated the lighter hearted sections at the end of the day's training where Jonathan demonstrated his voice impersonation skills. Ranging from Stallone and Arnie, through to Marge Simpson, we were all encouraged to join in and explore the range of our own voices. Fun and with a very serious purpose: each accent we practiced exercised particular parameters of our voice. Because I attended the beginning and end of the course, I missed out a big chunk in the middle including any gradual improvements the other attendees were making in their voice. So for me, on my return on the final day, I noticed quite dramatic improvements compared with the initial session. Straw polls frequently show that many people lack confidence in their voice. If you consider your voice to be one of your key assets, Finding Your Irresistible Voice is a valuable and effective learning experience, where you could expect to make fantastic improvements, in a fun and supportive environment, that boosts your confidence.
2006 - William BarronBusiness Life Coach, Creating InSight, United KingdomAttended Course : Knowledge Engineering
I am using your K.E. all the time with my Business Development Coaching. The first time was over the telephone with a client. She was in London and I was in Derby. She had a challenge with a customer and wanted a different way of handling him and a new project but was stuck. I explained the process started it off ... If Then Means ... faxed the start to her and then she picked up the process and by the end of the session we had worked it back and she had a better idea of what was involved and later that week emailed me with the news that she had sorted it all out. Another client was having trouble deciding on a similar situation but did not know why he was holding back on a new venture, especially as he had been made redundant and it uncovered huge amounts of stuff in his life that he hadn't told anybody before and now we are looking at that before he even considers the new business venture. Finally the last time was a client who wants to get out of a business investment, which then allowed us to take the result and work back with all the various scenarios on parallel Time Scales that showed what he needed to do, which he found extremely valuable. Along with Dilts' Logical Levels, visualization, Mind Mapping and EQ, K.E. has got to be one of the most useful things that I have learnt in the past four years. Many thanks.
http://www.creatinginsight.co.uk2005 - David T.Hypnotherapist & NLP Master Practitioner, London, UKAttended Course : NLP Skills-Builders (course)
Jonathan is truly one of the greats in NLP. Kind, warm-hearted, & great fun to work with. Most excellent.
1999 - Nick FortuneIT Consultant, London, UKAttended Course : Knowledge Engineering
The real topic of the seminar is modeling. Modeling is arguably the heart of NLP &, until now, a subject that has been pretty much opaque to me. No longer. Jonathan melds techniques from the world of computing with meta modeling to produce a solid methodical approach to the subject, which is uniquely his own. [...] We had a lot of fun, we learned a lot, & most important, what we learned was useful & obvious in its application. If you get a chance to attend one of these events, do it!
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