Silent Exchanges: NLP Body Language Conversation Skills
When they were handing out Body Language Handbooks -- Did they Run Out Before You Got Yours?
We spent a decade teaching Verbal Wizardry... now we're training nonverbal wizardry! Learn Powerful Non-Verbal Communication & Leadership skills!
Not currently scheduled.
Dear Communication Skills Students:
If you think being a "good communicator" is good enough, think again. Nearly everyone's a "good communicator," these days. Nowadays, to own any given situation, you need to have mastered the following valuable secret that is repeatedly uttered behind closed doors amongst the most powerful and influential people around:
The most flexible element in any system... wins.
In verbal terms, that means being able to both lead, and go with the flow. In behavioral terms, you need to already be... or become... the most gifted nonverbal communicator in any group you enter. Great, gifted, influential communicators say far more with their body... than actually escapes their lips.
This isn't news to most of you. We've been hammered repeatedly by the statistic that 55% of our communication is nonverbal. And while that's not quite what the psychologist who was behind that statistic actually studied, the lesson is still important (which is why his statistic continues to be misquoted). Nonverbals obviously occupy a significant amount of our ability to communicate. In fact... in some contexts... an inability to communicate nonverbally spells instant failure.
Bottom line, if you want an advantage or an edge in this world, you not only need to be able to interpret body language, you've got to speak it -- fluently.
Why? Because most decisions are made silently by 'wheelers and dealers.' Most choices are made under the table, by those who know how to play with subtle social strategies. If you're not able to play at their level, they'll quietly ignore you or negotiate away your position. And you'll never know what hit you. You'll be left behind. Maybe this is sounding just a little bit too familiar...?
Have any of these Unfortunate Results Occurred for you?
- You thought a date was going well, but you never got a 2nd date?
- You were convinced you were going to make a sale, but mystifyingly, your competitor got the contract.
- You were lined up for that big promotion, but someone else less qualified UNDER you got the promotion.
- You were asked to give an influential presentation to a group of executives, and afterwards, they made the choice you didn't want them to make.
- You really wanted a group to agree to go to one of your favorite restaurants, but every single time, the group chose to go to your colleague's latest passing fancy.
- You repeatedly go out to bars or restaurants with a friend who isn't as good looking as you are, yet every time you spend time with them, they seem to get more attention and longer conversations from other romantic prospects than you do.
If any of the above (or similar situations) were relevant for you, what if you had them recorded on videotape, and could "pause the action" in the middle, to get immediate feedback of your actions and performance, so you could get the critical understanding that you only wish you could get, real-time? Wouldn't that be impactful?
In mere moments, together we could identify exactly what strengths and weaknesses need to be addressed for you to dramatically improve your behavioral performance and results (and then make it easy for you to make those needed adjustments).
You could gain immediate and expert advice on what to alter in your behavior, and how best to alter it, easily and naturally.
What if you could discover exactly how you COULD have turned the situation around and been much more effective... and at ease?
But just telling you what you could have done... doesn't prepare you for success in the future. All it does is fault you for the past; it doesn't truly empower you for the future.
But that's OK, all is not lost. Because...
To empower you for the future... all you have to do is try out what we've made EASY to learn.
We CAN teach you to nonverbally enter a complex situation and own it.
We CAN train you to become a more gifted silent communicator.
And that makes you infinitely more flexible. And remember, the most flexible element in any given situation, wins.
But there's still a BIG question to ask you: How blind are you, currently?
I was training some basic awareness skills to a small company last year. And I know that in any social setting (whether personal or professional), I'm going to encounter people across a wide range of attention to detail and awareness. There's also going to be a wide range of body awareness.
One of the funniest ways of immediately testing who's really blind and needs more work is to rapidly identify the person who can't track much more than what's being said, and can't think strategically with both verbal and nonverbal communication.
So I might say "Some body language experts believe that most people who lie tend to have their palms facing down or inwards towards their bellies. There may be some truth to this theory." And then I pause. Some people do nothing in response. Some smile and look around. Once in a while someone will immediately pull his hands into an open plate facing-up posture. It's usually the liar in the group who does it. It's even more obvious if they wait a while and then have their palms facing upwards the next time a question is asked of them. It's a sign they can't consistently manage their own congruent communication across verbal AND NON-verbal. The above candidate needs a LOT of work. This candidate needs serious work on self-awareness, attention to detail, calibration skills, and congruence.
The next level of candidate doesn't respond immediately or while answering a question, but did check their own hands immediately upon hearing the accusation. In other words, they didn't draw too much attention to themselves when they checked their own status, but they did turn their attention inward to analyze their own behavior. That's a good skill. This candidate needs some work, but not as much as the first.
The best body language students will scan the entire group immediately upon hearing such a description (whether the statement was true or not), trying to identify patterns across other people, and also verify the information provided. This requires heightened attention to detail, good calibration skills, congruence, a fascination with others at multiple communication levels, and a solid ability to multi-task.
We can train any of the above levels, easily, because our methods require you to ACT, while learning. You have to do... to absorb. You'll learn by doing, not by talking verbally. You'll congruently learn nonverbal communication, nonverbally!
Wikipedia's only got the tip of the Iceberg. If you think getting good at what they describe is good enough -- Think Again!
If you look up Nonverbal Communication (NVC) on Wikipedia, there's a reasonably good (if basic) article on the subject. We won't bore you with quoting it here. Suffice it to say it's a nice summary. And they've even gone so far as to list 6 different ways of communicating with BOTH verbal... AND nonverbal communication. Wikipedia suggests you can use nonverbal communication to:
- Repeat your verbal message
- Conflict with your verbal message
- Complement your verbal message
- Substitute something from your verbal message
- Regulate your verbal message
- Accent/Moderate your verbal message
That's certainly a good start! Except... there's a FUNDAMENTAL FLAW here! It presupposes the verbal is more important than the nonverbal. And it's not! We know people can *converse* using NLP body language, fully silently!
Our workshop, in stark contrast to learning typical body language material... operates from the frame that the NON-verbal... is the most important channel of communication.
That's just the first big difference between our course, and other forms of nonverbal communication study. But there are a LOT more:
What if you turned the tables and learned to use nonverbal communication as your primary means of communication?
We think that would be the first fundamental paradigm shift of importance to make. And we can help ANY student make this leap -- easily. Within an HOUR -- and we have done so many other times in other courses -- but not typically for this larger purpose.
And that's not all. Why stop at only 6 relatively basic ways of interacting between verbal and nonverbal? We know (and you'll learn) at least 4 Additional Ways to allow your verbal and nonverbal communication to interact, for maximum communication impact.
We're pretty sure that with all we know about conversing nonverbally, you won't find these techniques (or training methods, for that matter) available ANYWHERE ELSE. We'll help you become gifted at communicating real-time nonverbally with your body!
If not, then...
Let's check just how badly you need to make this Shift:
Simple Question: Have you ever -- within the past 3 years -- either said aloud to a friend or wondered to yourself... "I wonder if I should go up & say something to that person?"
Simple Answer: If you answered "Yes" -- then you need to take our Silent Exchanges workshop ASAP! Answering Yes presupposes that at some level, you don't think the process of communication between you and that other person has already begun! Let me explain it another way. When you walked in the room, the communication began. Unless you understand that at a fundamental level, and can play at that behavioral level to such a degree that the verbals you choose to use are only chosen because they support the nonverbal conversation... then all those unfortunate results you've been getting are destined to continue. And maybe even get worse, because people tend to turn their bad habits into permanent behaviors, until/unless they make a decision to change them, ASAP.