Chat Log: Calibration
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IRC Chat Log, June 21, 1998
| Jonathan | Hi folks! Welcome to IRC, and to the chat on Calibration... we have a great sized group here... and I want to point out that we have another Society-of-NLP trainer Wesley Anderson here with us... (with the nick Awaken)... thanks for joining in!
| tranzpupy | Hey, Jonathan, you mean there is a trainer closer to me than you? I took your 13-day certification intensive, so I know everything.
| Jonathan | Can I ask everyone -- who wishes to contribute -- to briefly state your NLP experience, knowledge, and/or training background? So we and our future readers can get a sense of how the chat will be aimed at this audience?
| _Stile_ | I have no training
| Occum | Well, I am a relative beginner. I have read several books, but have not had much chance to practice. And I havn't attended any trainings but would like to in the future.
| Stefan | Experience: about 1 year, read 10 books, no practitioner seminar. Need to practice more in real life, but I think I'm starting to get it now ;)
| MichaelR | Reading and tapes.
| june | What I know about NLP mainly comes from NLPTALK and major NLP websites
| sunev | I'm not certified, but they say I'm *certifiable*
| _Stile_ | Jonathan says I'm certifiable. I'm certified in hypnosis though!
| Jonathan | The reason I like to ask that at the beginning of some of these chats... is because... I like to Calibrate you. I like to calibrate at what levels I should focus my attentions. And I do mean plural attentionS!
| tranzpupy | I was certifiable, now I am certified...
| june | I'm starting to feel more comfortable since there are other beginners.
| Stefan | I haven't actually taken a practitioner course, but listened to a Practitioner tapeset. Not the real thing though.
| Awaken | I live in Atlanta, and as you've noted am certified by the Society of NLP™ as a trainer. I am a hypnotherapist by profession.
| tranzpupy | And take another, and another...
| Jonathan | OK, great! Calibration. What does it mean? It means to measure... to take a measurement. But instead of answering "what is Calibration".... let's ask a slightly different question... lets ask... and answer... "what is calibratING?" Lets denominalize it... make the word/concept of calibration easier to access and understand... and we do that simply by turning it back into the transitive verb... "calibratING"
| june | Do we measure only body language, Jonathan
| tranzpupy | Can I answer?
| Occum | Ongoing process of taking measurements, and making adjustments to them?
| Jonathan | Sure... these are all good... June -- I'd say we do measure body language -- some more than others... but we measure a great deal more than that! OK folks... We have a WIDE variety of NLP backgrounds here. So as a result... I'd like to talk about and explore with you -- the subject of calibration at a variety of levels... at a conscious level... at an unconscious level... at beginner, intermediate, & advanced levels, etc etc etc!
| tranzpupy | Uh oh. Guess I better pay attention!
| _Stile_ | Are we discussing or calibrating unconsciously?
| Jonathan | So much of NLP is about becoming more aware of whats happening around you so that you can determine your role in the world around you... so that you can be more effective in relation to your outcomes... so that you can be more effective with other people in any situation. This requires that you open up your eyes... open up your ears... all the channels... and really pay more and closer attention to whats already out there... whats already going on around you! With NLP you'll be noticing SO much more detail and information but its not as though it weren't already there for the taking!
| june | That reminded me of observing classes
| Jonathan | A lot of folks consider this to be ramping up your sensory acuity. Relying more on sensory-verifiable data... and relying less on your internal dialog assumptions and conclusions. Now...
| Awaken | I heard that Erickson once determined that a patient had gone into trance by watching hre carotid pulse slow from across the room.
| Jonathan | Wesley - I love that story! The stories which I don't believe are when you hear about attempts to pace and lead a heartbeat when the person you're watching can't see you ;)
| Awaken | Yeah, I'd like to see THAT on myself.
| Jonathan | LOL Wesley! OK. Now, calibration -- is just a word. And when we calibrate things... or people... we refer to all kinds of different things. With people new to calibration and other aspects of learning how to be more effective with NLP and anything.... The first kinds of things people learn to calibrate are... general states. Overall gross (eww!) body posture & such.
| Awaken | Good calibration skills can lead to some darn good mind-reads, too. It can be really useful to detect a nonverbal "go away and leave me alone" message that a person is giving us simultaneously, with a "sure I'll cooperate" message
| june | Jonathan, how can we verify perceived behavior. Don't they have multiple meanings?
| Jonathan | They might, June. Let's take an example. My wife came home early from work recently... and she walked in smiling... and I had just stubbed my toe!!! So I had my brow furrowed! (And I think I was groaning too, in retrospect) She walked in bright & smiling... saw me, and thought I was annoyed or upset. I was, but only for a moment... and not at all with her! We got past that one quickly! ;) But the thing is.... And I do this too from time to time -- we ALWAYS are operating in the world with less information than there is in "reality". Because we naturally delete, distort, and generalize the information coming in.... we have to operate with "impoverished" models of reality. As long as we recognize we have and use these impoverished models, then we're more likely to stop and find out HOW they're impoverished. This is the key. Be aware that we don't have enough information a lot of the time... so if we can gather more accurate information ... we can operate more effectively.
| StCrispin | How do we use them?
| june | How can we do that?
| Jonathan | That's why we learn to calibrate better and start to pay closer attention to that MOMENT you stop paying attention externally... and start to make internal judgements based on that data. The moment (in my example) that my wife stopped gathering visual, auditory data about me... and assumed I was upset or annoyed with her... is the moment she reached early inaccurate closure on calibrating my state!
| Awaken | The question is what kind of information, and how do we intrepret it. That's where calibration comes in. Match that furrowed brow with a stubbed toe, not a self-reference!
| Jonathan | Yes Wesley!
| sunev | Isn't that the point? If you stop calibrating and start interpreting, then you're not calibrating anymore?
| Jonathan | Yes again, Venus! So we want to maintain that sense of continuous calibrating, if we can... to the best of our ability! Install it within ourselves, ideally... so that if moments come along when we rely less on the information we're observing, at least we're more aware of how/when thats happening! Now. Measuring. I mentioned people new to NLP™ often started by learning how to calibrate states.
| Awaken | Asking questions can be a key, as well as observations of direct behavior.
| sunev | Like Florida?
| Jonathan | Certainly Wesley! If she'd have asked me, "why the furrowed brow?" That would have been a RAPID solution! OK. Physiological states... how to calibrate physiological states... and there are other things.
| sunev | Hey, but Jonathan, what about when people demonstrate one thing with their body, but their words say something else?
| _Stile_ | Incongruity
| StCrispin | Good question :)
| Jonathan | Ahhah! I'll get to that later if we can!
| Awaken | Continuous calibration sounds like a lot of work to me. The reality of it is that the process becomes unconsciously automated. And, when that happens it's easy.
| Jonathan | Ahh Yes, Wesley I find thats true too, glad you mentioned it! That gets back to the process of taking something from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence!
| june | What if the person does not tell us the truth?
| Jonathan | I want to cover a variety of measurable channels and processes... then we'll TOUCH later on noticing DIFFERENCES between what you see/hear/feel/etc in two different channels of communication. ;) Is this an acceptable approach for the group (y/n)?
| _Stile_ | Feel... mmmmm
| _Stile_, sunev, Occum, tranzpupy, StCrispin, june, Stefan | y
| Awaken | Go for it.
| Jonathan | OK. Now as we talked about you can measure gross body posture. Any of the "new" students to NLP know what the best way of calibrating someone else's general physiological or emotional state is? Take a few guesses.
| Awaken | We're all good at it already. I just knew when I was in trouble when Mom used THAT tone of voice...
| _Stile_ | Posture?
| Jonathan | LOL!
| StCrispin | Jon, fill me in :)
| Jonathan | Posture is certainly one!
| Occum | Liver function?
| Jonathan | Breathing is another basic one. No, Occum, liver function is too easy. (grin) Not!
| Occum | ;-)
| StCrispin | Facial expression?
| Jonathan | Yes StCrispin! A great one! I'm not saying this is congruent information you're getting of course, that all depends.
| StCrispin | Movement (like, twitching hands)
| Stefan | And movements, the rate and rhytm. And changes of body posture.
| Jonathan | You're all giving me types of body areas & such. But HOW do you KNOW... that they're in a certain state? Just by watching? Your BEST bet... your most accurate means of measuring their state...
| StCrispin | I don't know :)
| tranzpupy | If you match them,
| StCrispin | Couldn't be just by watching...
| Jonathan | Is if you reproduce what they're doing.
| june | In a tactile way
| tranzpupy | You can get a good idea....
| StCrispin | Mirroring?
| Jonathan | If you make believe, so to speak... that you and the other person are part of an interconnected system in a way... such that your body, your state, becomes a sort of feedback loop for their body, their state. Mirroring or cross-mirroring is the simplest way....
| Occum | Step into them, see what they see, hear what they hear, and feel what they feel.
| Jonathan | Posture, face, breathing rate, body rhythms, yes even heartbeat sometimes...
| Awaken | You'll get rapport, too as a consequence of that kind of matching
| Jonathan | Thats a different way of describing the same thing. Stepping into their world as it were. That way of thinking of it is certainly a good one. I like to think of myself and the other person as a system... a single unit... where if something happens in the person I'm calibrating... then something happens in my system as well.. for everything there is a corresponding reaction....
| Awaken | I think I'll stick to crossover mirroring, when it comes to heartbeat.
| tranzpupy | WE ARE ALL ONE IN MIND (now there's a scary thought)
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