Rex Sikes says: "Develop Curiosity!"

Are you self-aware enough to know that every single judgement call you make, prevents you from learning, or diminishes how much you can learn?

The following is a transcript of a "sample" audio clip from a teleconference held with Rex Sikes on Sept. 24, 2012.  Rex was my first NLP trainer; I attended his Practitioner course in July 1997.  He was a profound influence on my training style, and on how I view extraordinary training.  I think you'll find this quote to be inspirational, and the sort of message that stays with you for ages, guiding you in your life.  I know it did for me!

In some ways, Rex "ruined" me for many of the trainers out there who had made their living doing 7-day certification courses or shorter, because after years of seeing many people coming to my courses after taking those short certification courses, it has always been easy to contrast the levels Rex brought my student group to (in 14 days), with the lacking "results" produced by those short courses.  Read this, "young Jedi," and you'll get a taste of why that's so!

Rex Sikes Interviewed, Sept 24:

Rex:  People either listen to what you say, or what I say, and they go "yep, yep, that's right, absolutely, I agree."  Or they go, "that's such bs, who would... total garbage, I don't agree with any of that."  Both of those are the mind shutting down.  Both of those are like a big heavy safe door slamming shut inside the bank.  The minute you agree or the minute you disagree, you have stopped the learning process. 

Rex:  The key to the learner is to be able to allow things in, without evaluating or analyzing them or agreeing or disagreeing.  It's being open to it as if you were a child, without the judgement process.  A very difficult thing to do, but that's the point of Mind Design™ and creating exercises, which is to put people into an exercise -- and believe me it's a whole lot harder to explain than it is to actually do -- but to put people into exercises where they can experience things, and hopefully one of the things they experience, and they learn, and they begin to recognize, is when they close, and when they can open, and that's the challenge for me, for you, for, you know, I think, everybody.  Because the second you're in an exercise and you go, "Ohhh, yep yep, he was right... " you've stopped seeing, you've stopped listening, you stopped.... you've gone inside, you make a mental judgement of something, and you miss whatever follows.  Especially when it comes to calibration skills."

Jonathan:  "Aw, Rex, but its too much work to keep thinking about this, I've gotta make a judgement call."

Rex:  "Well, and in fact, you do... and that's part of being human.  So it's not that you never do it, it's that you learn when, and how, to do it.  So that you become more of the master of choice, than the victim of your own brain.  And so, you know, it is this dance.  You can't be open infinitely and forever, and it's important to shut down and to rest and to close off, and analyze and to do all those things.  But it's a matter of when, and where that you do it.  And at what point in the learning process do you do it.  And guess what, in the learning process, you're going to do it all the time.  Until you learn how to suspend it for a while.  And that takes calibrating yourself.  That takes being.. you know... It's the kind of thing, where you go "Oh crap!  Now I just closed down! Oh, there I did it again!  Oh, I did it again!"   It's almost an infinite regress, until you find your way of getting out of it, and the only way you do that, and the most easily, is with a skilled mentor... somebody who can go "hey, you just closed down"  and they go "I did not..." you know, they'll defend it.  Or they'll go "oh, I did, Oh, gosh, woe is me, I'm such a bad puppy, I'm going to go sit in a corner and cry!"  And that's not the right response either! 

Rex:  The response whenever you notice that you did something right or something wrong, is yes, congratulate yourself, and nurture it.  This is when in one of the last ones I said, you "don't punt the baby."  You encourage and you nurture and you gently bring yourself along, because when you do that, you open yourself up to more and more of the kinds of experiences that are vital, and that you want to have more of.  So, it is nurturing.

Jonathan:  So, a question might be, "I wonder how many different things I might notice that I haven't yet noticed before, but won't it be cool to discover those things."

Rex:  Yep, again, you know, that's using Directed Questions™ to keep your mind open; you don't want a yes or no answer, you want an answer that leads you to discovery.

Rex:  And one of the things that I do like about Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the way it was approached in the beginning, was, the idea of being curious.  Being curious about what's going on inside of another person, instead of just paying attention to what goes on inside of yourself.   You know, being curious about how people do things?  How do people who are excellent, produce the results that they produce? 

Rex:  What's the internal mechanisms, that are allowing them to do that?  What's the sequence of those thoughts?  What are those thoughts?  Are there pictures?  Are there sounds?  Well, how are those pictures and sounds and feelings represented?  In other words, what are the components that go into the pictures, and if they're having pictures, when are they having them?  And how are they having them?  And, are they in color or black and white?  I mean, it's all about being curious... and being open and discovering things, and noticing, guess what!  Hey, you know what?  I noticed that there are some patterns here.  How is it that this person's able to do that, or how is it that this person's able to be stuck?  How do they construct that for themselves, as opposed to blaming,   or saying "being stuck is bad," or being an excellent athlete is good.  How do they do that?   You know?  And staying open, and curious, and I wonder if I'll discover something I've never ever seen before, because I'm now, as I approach things in a new way, how many different ways could I begin to think about this, differently than I have from the past.  You know?  And what is it that I'm not paying attention to that I haven't yet noticed, that if I were to bring my attention to that, I could begin to notice and appreciate in even grander ways. 

Rex:  There's all sorts of ways to direct your brain.  But you do it lovingly and kindly and gently, and hopefully, when you learn NLP, you learn to do that with other people as well.  We don't live in a vacuum.

Want to know more about, and hear more of Rex Sikes?

Rex Sikes has been in the field of personal development for decades.  He founded and ran the NLP training company "IDEA Seminars" in the 1990's.  He was the author of many popular NLP home-study courses, including the extremely popular recording known as the "Attitude Activator!"  He was also the only NLP consultant to be hired to work with the OJ Simpson Defense "Dream Team" and the media surrounding that trial, to calibrate the jury and the witnesses.  In 2001 he left NLP to focus on other passions including independent filmmaking and corporate entertainment.  So he's been away for over 10 years... and we're getting another shot at training with this extraordinary NLP Master Trainer!

The Teleconferences that produced the above quote are currently available for listening!  If you go to our "Rex Sikes Teleconferences" page, you can listen to multiple audio samples, one from each of our 1-hour-long calls.  If you'd like to listen to the full calls, or download them, you'll need to subscribe to our teleconferences email list.  You may or may not be subscribed to our main newsletter; that will NOT get you access to the calls.  Again, go to this page for more pearls of wisdom like the above -- and the audio clip sample from which the quotes above were transcribed.  They may NOT be available for free download later -- we're considering turning these into a product soon.  Listen to them immediately, while you can, free of charge.

Amazingly, Rex has also agreed to co-train a 12-day NLP Practitioner training in Orlando, November 2-13, 2012.  Your only opportunity to train with Rex Sikes in over a decade!.  Learn more here!